Friendship in the West & Friendship in Islam


It is natural for people to form friendships with others whom they interact with on a regular basis. Friendships can be formed through growing up in the same neighbourhood, meeting at school, college, university, social gatherings and via a number of other activities.Friendship is something common amongst people, however there are dif on a friend, you can speak freely to your friend and tell them yourf they require advice they usually turn to their friends.

Friendship in the West

Friendship in the West is based on benefit. Friends come together on the basis of mutual interest, so they will go to the cinema, parties and clubbing together. They talk about the opposite sex freely to each other and hide each others secrets even if they involve evil actions. They often gain comfort in backbiting and winging about other people who they don't like. Unfortunately some Muslims carry the Western notion of friendship as they follow the crowd rather than to looking to Islam for solutions.Due to the fact that friendship is based on benefit in the West, it is easy for people to 'break out' with can be over petty things such as not going for a night out with them or larger things such as betrayal. Ien betray them by having affairs with their wife, sisters or girlfriend.As Tupac Shakur, one of the most well known gangster rappers looked up to by many around the world said when asked about whether he keeps in touch with his friends, "On the whole, I don't have any friends. Friends come and go; I've lost my trust factor." [June 1996, From the book "Tupac Shakur by the editors of VIBE."]Friends even become status symbols, so people long to 'hang out' wif you want to be accepted. For some this means 'sucking up' to them, for others it means undertaking actions to make them think you're 'cool'.Friendship in the West is based on using each other. The proof of this can be seen in the fact that when friends became unusable they drift apa and stop clubbing, partying and drooling over the opposite sex at every opportunity they would start treating them differently and normally faount them when they are wrong and advise them upon their actions repeatedly. As an example if someone begins to practise Islam and stops commitwith the Western concept of friendship would change their attitude towards them and they would be distanced and only occasionally spoken to. Ththeir eyes to keep a close relationship with them, in fact it completely contradicts their lust for pleasure as when the person speaks about Islam it is seen as an attack on their lifestyle.Friendship in Western societies is normally false as the society is founded on greed, individualism and following lusts. Friendship in Islam is true as it is based on sincerity, trust and Ta).

Friendship in Islam

Islam recognises that a Muslim will naturally spend more time with certain people and be more comfortable with them in raising their personal problems and issues. This does not mean in any way that the rest of the Muslims are not their brothers and sisters whom they love, rather all that it means that they will be closer to certain people than others just as people are usually closer to their family than others.Islam recogniseihi wasallam) said:

"A person follows the Deen (way of life) of his close friend; therefore let each of you look carefully at whom he chooses for friends."

[Tirmidhi]A Muslim sh(world) will be our friends in the Akhira (afterlife). It is therefore vital for a Muslim to choose good friends.The love between two Muslim friends is such that they would confide in each other, help each other in times of neThe Prophet (SallAllahu alaihi wasallam) encouraged for Muslims who have love for each other not to keep it to themselves.It has been narrated by al-Bukhari in al-Adaabul-Mufrad (no. 191) that Allah's Messenger (SallAllahu alaihi wasallam) said:

"If one of you loves his brother for Allah's sake, then let him tell him since it causes familiarity to endure and firmly establishes love."

Abu Huraira narrated that the Prophet (SallAllahu alaihi wasallam) said,

"You will not enter Paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Shall I not guide you to something which if you carry out you will love one another. Spread as-Salaam amongst yourselves."

[Muslim]Friendshiing to save him? A person who did that would be ones worst enemy rather than a friend. Therefore Muslims always warn and advise each other. The Prophet (SallAllahu alaihi wasallam) said:

"Each of you is the mirror of his brother, so if he sees any fault in him he should wipe it away from him."

[Tirmidhi]This means we confideor fears that he has.Friendship has rules private affairs to yhi wasallam), who ask to him that if you love someone you should ask his name, his father's name and where he lives as well as visit him when he is sick and help him if he was busy.Umar bin Al-Khattab (ra) said,

"Encountering your brothers lifts all grief. If Allah blesses you with good relations with another Muslim, hold fast to it" .

Rule of friendship with non-Muslims

As Muslims living in the West we interact with non-Muslims on a daily basis whether at work, University, college or in society at large. It is incorrect for us to cut ourselves completely from them and live in isolation. We should aim at building relationships with them in order to give them Da'wa to embrace Islam. Therefore we should have them as acquaintances, however this does not mean that we are allowed to have them as close friends, as Allah (Subhanahu wa ta'aala) says: "O you who believe, take not into intimacy those outside your ranks: they will not fail to corrupt you." [TMQ Al-Imran: 118]Not taking them as nger (SallAllahu ale Prophet (SallAllan Umayr, the brotheto the Prophet's inoman of great wealt me?" Mus'ab ibn Umman are stronger than the ties of kinship.

Prohibition of backbiting, slander, envy, jealousy & grudges

The relationship of friendship is one of trust as a good Muslim is trustworthy and not deceitful, betraying or a backbiter. In reality this makes the love between friends in Islam stronger than friendship according to Western values as there is no constant thinking about whether your friend is speaking ill of you to other people or whether they are having a hidden relationship with your sister or wife.Islam has prohibited backbiting and slander and thus removing the cause of suspicion and doubt amongst people. Allah (Subhanahu wa ta'aala) says: "Neither backbite one another. Would one of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother. You abhor that (so abhor the other)! And keep your duty to Allah. Lo! Allah is Relenting, Merciful." [Al-Hujarat: 12]It is narrated by Abu Dawud on the authority of Anas (RA), the Messenger of Allah said:

"On the night of Isra I passed by some people who had copper nails and they were clawing their faces and chests with them. I asked Jibriel: Who are these persons? He said: These are the people who eat the flesh of human beings and disgrace them."

Islam also forbids envy and jealousy which are the common causes of problems amongst friends in Western societies. The Prophet (SallAllahu alaihi wasallam) said:

"Do not have malice against a Muslim; do not be envious of other Muslims; do not go against a Muslim and forsake him. O the slaves of Allah (Subhanahu wa ta'aala)! Be like brothers with each other. It is not violable for a Muslim to desert his brother for over three days".

[Sahih Muslim, Tirmithi]Belittling each other is almost a pastime in the West. The Prophet (SallAllahu alaihi wasallam) said: "The believer can do no worse than belittle his brother". [Ihya Uloom ad Deen]A Muslim should not hold grudges against another Muslim even if they are differing personalities. The Prophet (SallAllahu alaihi wasallam) warned against this when he said,

"The gates of Paradise will be open on Mondays and on Thursdays, and every servant [of Allah] who associates nothing with Allah will be forgiven, except for the man who has a grudge against his brother. [About them] it will be said: Delay these two until they are reconciled; delay these two until they are reconciled; delay these two until they are reconciled".

[Muslim]Friends should feel at ease with each other without feeling inferior or superior. Ego's must be tamed according to Islam.

Concealing faults

It is important to conceal a friends faults, this does not mean that we ignore them; it means that we advise them and help them overcome their shortcomings.Uqbah ibn Amir narrated that the Prophet (SallAllahu alaihi wasallam) said:"He who sees something which should be kept hidden and conceals it, it will be like the one who has brought to life a girl buried alive." [Hadith 2292: Abu Dawud]Abu Hurayrah narrated that Allah's Apostle (SallAllahu alaihi wasallam) said:

"He who conceals (the faults) of a Muslim, Allah would conceal his faults in the world and in the Hereafter. Allah is at the back of a servant so long as the servant is at the back of his brother."

[Hadith 1245: Muslim]

Generosity & Kindness

Sharing wealth with others is greatly encouraged in Islam. This encourages trust and closeness amongst people. It is sometimes difficult for Muslims to grasp this principle especially when they are affected by Western society which promotes greed and selfishness. Giving someone something without expecting anything in return is uncommon in the West even amongst friends. When the non-Muslims give each other presents such as on Birthday's, Christmas, New Year's or when someone leaves the work place it is done more out of tradition and knowing that they will get something in return rather than sincerity.Imam Bukhari narrated that our beloved Messenger Muhammad (SallAllahu alaihi wasallam) said:

"None amongst you believes (truly) till one likes for his brother, that which he loves for his himself".

Examples of this perspective towards others can be clearly seen in the companions of the Prophet (SallAllahu alaihi wasallam).It is transmitted by Imam Ahmad, in Al-Bidayah, volume 3, page 228 that Anas (ra) narrated, "When Abdur-Rahman ibn Auf (ra) imtablished brotherhood between him and Sa'd ibn Al-Ansari (ra). Afterwards Sa'd said to Abdur-Rahman ibn Auf, 'O my brother! I have 2 wives. I will divorce one of them whom you like more so that you may marry her.' Abdur-Rahman ibn Auf replied, 'May Ale way to the market so that I may make my fortune with my own hands."The Ansaar of Medina were extremely generous to their brothers, the Mst that their orchards of palm trees should be distributed equally be burden upon them. It was, however, decided that the Muhajireen would work in the orchards along with the Ansaar and the yield would be divided equally amongst them.Friends should have informality with each other so that they are not hesitant in asking for anything when in need. This can be seen from the example of the Prophet ( dear friend Abu Ayyub al-Ansari. The Prophet (SallAllahu alaihi wasallam) had stayed at his house when after arriving into Madina whilst he was waiting for the mosqin Abu Ayyub's house for almost seven months until his mosque was completed on the open space where his camel had stopped. He then moved to the roots which were buil his family. He thus became a neighbour of his friend Abu Ayyub.Abu Ayyub continued to love the Prophet (saw) with all his heartse as his own. The following anecdote tells a great deal about tsaw him and asked, "Abu Bakr, what has brought you out at this he Prophet (saw) came up to them and asked; "What has brought the also. But come with me."They went to the house of Abu Ayyub al-Ansari. His wife opened the door and said, "Welcome to the Prophet and whoever is with him.""Where is Abu Ayyub?" asked the Prophet (saw). Abu Ayyub, who was working in a nearby palm grove, heard the Prophet's voice and camd and went on "O Prophet of God, this is not the time that you usually come." (Abu Ayyub used to keep some food for the Prophet eveyyub would give it to his family). "You are right," the Prophet agreed. Abu Ayyub went out and cut a cluster of dates in which therid the Prophet (saw). "Could you not have brought only the ripe dates?" "O Rasulullah, please eat from both the ripe dates (rutb) a"If you are going to, then do not kill one that gives milk," cautioned the Prophet (saw). Abu Ayyub killed a young goat, cooked hale food was ready, it was placed before the Prophet (saw) and his two companions. The Prophet (saw) took a piece of meat and placed asted the like of this for days". When they had eaten and were satisfied, the Prophet (saw) said reflectively: "Bread and meat and busr and rutb!" Tears began to flow from his eyes as he continued:

"This is a bountiful blessing about which you will be asked on the Day of judgment. If such comes your way, put your hands to it and say, Bismillah (In the name of God) and when you have finished say, Al hamdu lillah alladhee huwa ashbana wa anama alayna (Praise be to God Who has given us enough and Who has bestowed his bounty on us). This is best."

[Ihya Uloom ad Deen]In putting others fi two toothpicks, one(SallAllahu alaihi wasallam) replied,

"When a friend accompanies a friend, if only for one hour of the day, he will be asked to account for his companionship, whether he fulfilled his duty to Allah therein or whether he neglected it".

[Ihya Uloom ad Deen]On another occasion tam) whilst he washed.your ransom, and my mr to Allah is he who is kinder to his companion". [Ihya Uloom ad Deen]Giving of gifts has also been recommended by the Prophet (SallAllahu alaihi wasallam) and he explained that it creates love between people.It was reported by al-Bukhari in al-Adaabul-Mufrad (no. 594) that Rasool-Allah (SallAllahu alaihi wasallam) said:"Give gifts and you will love one another".Kindness to our friends, helping them in need and consoling them in times of grief should becomenatural to us for everyone needs help, a shoulder to cry on and someone to share their joy.Ali ibn Abi Talib (ra) said, "Pay attention to your brothers for they are your provision in this life and in the hereafter. Do you not listen to the cry of the people of the fire? "So we have no one to intercede for us nor any dear friend" [Ash-Shu'araa: 100-101]

Loving someone for the sake of Allah

In the West people love each other for the sake of material benefits whereas in Islam we are encouraged to love each other for the sake of Allah. This means that we would undertake actions with regards to each other that even contradict our personal interests in order aid a friend or further our relationship with them.It was reported by Muslim on the authority of Abu Hurairah (ra) that the Prophet (SallAllahu alaihi wasallam) said:

"A man went to visit a brother of his in another town and Allah deputed an angel to await him on his way, so when he came to him he said, "Where are you going?" He replied, "I am going to visit a brother of mine in this town." He said, "Have you done him some favour which you desire to be returned?" He said, "No, it is just that I love him for Allah, the Mighty and Magnificent." He said, "Then I am a messenger sent by Allah to you (to inform you) that Allah loves you as you have loved him for Allah's sake."

The Prophet (SallAllahu alaihi wasallam) also said:

"Whoever would like to taste the sweetness of Iman (belief) then let him love a person only for Allah's sake."

[Ahmad]It was reported by Abu Dawud that Umar ibn al-Khattab narrated that the Prophet (SallAllahu alaihi wasallam) said:

"Indeed from the servants of Allah there are some who are not Prophets, yet they will be envied by the Prophets and the martyrs". It was asked, "Who are they? That we may love them". He (SallAllahu alaihi wasallam) said, "They are people who have mutual love through light from Allah, not due to kinship or ancestry, their faces will be enlightened, upon pillars of light, they will not fear when the people fear, or grieve when the people grieve".

Then he (SallAllahu alaihi wasallam) recited: "No doubt! Verily, on the friends of Allah there is no fear nor shall they grieve." [TMQ 10: 62]In conclusionany we keep hus with its poisonous culture and attempts to catch us in its net.